


Broken Trust

by PeterHaleforAlpha



Series: Shut up and kiss me [5]
Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Established Relationship, M/M, ep 2x09, ep 2x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 02:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6496846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterHaleforAlpha/pseuds/PeterHaleforAlpha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evi just died and Nathan locks Duke in the cell. Duke isn't really thrilled about the way Nathan is treating him even if he is trying to protect him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Trust

**Author's Note:**

> You can read this part without further knowledge. You just need to know that Duke and Nathan are in a relationship about a month now.
> 
> This fic will be very angsty, has a lot of not talking and not understanding each other but it will mostly be resolved in the end, so no worries.   
> And it will pretty much follow both episodes but I have only picked certain scenes that were important to their relationship.

His head was still aching, his concentration unfocused but the noise of the jail doors smashing shut was sounding like an alarm bell in his head. Nathan couldn’t be serious. He couldn’t just lock him in here. His head jerked up, watching Nathan, seeing him turning around, turning around to _leave_.

“Nathan, come on. You can’t just lock me in here.” Duke stood up and walked over to the bars. Nathan had stopped and faced him again. There was a look in his eyes that Duke hadn’t seen in a while and it stung like a stab in the heart. _Uncertainty_. Nathan was not sure how to approach this situation, was not sure how Duke would react, what Duke would _do._ “I’m not - I’m not gonna do anything,” Duke pleaded desperately, trying to _help_ Nathan with that, trying to show him how wrong Nathan was by locking him up in here.  

“You’re not thinking right.”

Yeah, yeah, maybe he had acted impulsive. Maybe it had been a bad idea wanting to rush outside and kill those bastards. But they had _killed_ Evi, shot her in cold blood. They _deserved_ to die and no one seemed to care but him. Duke was not going to let them go away with it. And he would certainly not be stopped by Nathan and some damn bars. “Yes, I _was_ , you’re right. I didn’t think straight. I just, I just wanted-” Duke took a deep breath, clinging to the bars, trying to push down the burning anger that was crawling back up to the surface. “I am _thinking now_.”

“You are?” Nathan took a step closer, intimidation in his voice, a threat in his gaze. “Look at you, Duke. You are ready to crash through these bars.”

Duke shook his head frantically. “No, no, no.” He wasn’t. He wouldn’t. “Listen-”

“I have listened and I have watched, Duke. I _know_ you and I’m not taking the risk of you killing yourself.”

“No, NO!” Another shake of his head and a smash against the bars. A scream formed in his throat but he was aware enough to not let it out. “I’m not going to get myself killed,” he tried a calmer voice now. “I’m not _doing_ _anything_.”  

“Duke!” Sharp and commanding. The tenderness that came usually now when Nathan said his name was clearly lacking and it hit Duke right in this moment. They were at the beginning all over again. Nothing had _changed_.

Nathan had locked him up although Duke hadn’t done anything to deserve it. Like it used to be. Nothing was different about their relationship, nothing at all. Maybe they used to kiss and fuck now but the problems remained, their long complicated history wasn’t forgotten. Although it should. _They_ should be better!

Duke smashed against the bars again, didn’t try to hide his anger anymore. “You _can’t_ lock me in here, Nate, not like this.”

“I can’t do my job and look after you at the same time, Duke. There is no time for that. I’m sorry.” Nathan tried to sound sincere but Duke didn’t believe a word of what he was saying. Duke was in the way and Nathan didn’t want to deal with it. So he _used_ his position to shove him away.

“You don’t trust me.” It was as simple as that for Duke. If Nathan really trusted him he wouldn’t do something like that. He would _listen_ , he would _understand_ and he would try to _help_. Locking your boyfriend in a cell was clear proof that something wasn’t right.

At once Nathan shook his head. “It has nothing to do with trust.”

Duke laughed hysterically. How could Nathan be so blind? “It has _everything_ to do with trust, Nathan,” Duke was shouting now, his anger not only directed at Evi’s killers anymore but clearly at Nathan too. “You could talk to me, you could listen and we could work this out. _We_ should be better than this!” Duke was eyeing Nathan, searching for a reaction but he just avoided his gaze and this made Duke even more furious. “You take me when I’m convenient and when it is too complicated or to exhausting to deal with, you push me away. We had this before, Nathan, remember?”

There was a reason why they didn’t talk, why they had all these problems, why they _hated_ each other and it was foolish to believe that they just could go past it without any troubles. Sooner or later something like this was destined to happen.

“Duke-” Nathan began but was cut off by Dwight’s voice from the radio. Duke didn’t pay attention but Nathan was listening and seemed relieved. It only lasted a second though because Dwight reported that the guys from outside were coming in. Duke’s heart skipped a beat and he felt the _need_ to be there again. If they were coming here, Duke deserved his time with them. It was only fair.

But Nathan didn’t even look at him anymore. He talked urgently with Dwight and turned around to rush out of the room. It was only due to Duke’s fast reflexes that he could grab Nathan’s arm before he was out of reach.

“You gotta let me go with you!” Duke pleaded again. These were Evi’s killers. It was not only about revenge - although Duke could hardly think of anything else than to give those people what they deserved - but it was also about Nathan running towards them, doing exactly what Duke wanted to do too. Exactly the same thing why Nathan locked him in here.

“I’m not letting you get yourself killed!” Nathan’s voice was sharp and he broke free out of Duke’s grip.

“Nathan, wait!!” Duke shouted after him as Nathan exited the room. “Nathan, don’t do this to me!” Desperation got a grip on him and once more he smashed against the bars with the full weight of his body. “Nate!” he shouted again although he knew that Nathan was already out of earshot.  

“Dammit,” he muttered to himself and ran his fingers through his hair. He turned around, started to pace from one end of the cell to the other. He could be out in one minute if he wanted to. Duke really _wanted_ to but still there was something that kept him back. Duke couldn’t be more angry with Nathan but the fact that it was him who locked him in here was the reason Duke wasn’t out yet. There were many times that Duke acted against Nathan’s will but he never did it lightly because he _hated_ disappointing Nathan. He didn’t want to disappoint Nathan, not even now, not even with the furious anger inside of him that wanted to punch Nathan over and over again.

He could get out, take the matter in his own hands or he could stay here and wait, be the good soldier and obey. Two options and both of them had their downsides. But Duke knew already what he would do. Even if he felt the urge to obey Nathan, the need for revenge was bigger, more endearing. Two more rounds of pacing and Duke was sure that he would be ready to open this damn door.

It didn’t take as long as this when a gun shot sounded through the halls. Abruptly Duke stopped in his movement and the next shots followed on the spot. Duke didn’t count, the only thing he realized that it was too many and they came from the direction that Nathan went to.

Immediately Duke had his pocket knife in hand that Nathan didn’t think to confiscate and was picking the lock. A few skilled motions with his fingers and he was free. It was quiet  again, no gun shot, no anything. It didn’t calm Duke in any way. There had been a lot of shots and if Nathan had only been near to one of them - Duke didn’t want to think of that. He lost Evi today. He couldn’t lose anyone else, especially not Nathan.

Duke rushed around the corner and ran to the back door where Nathan had wanted to meet Dwight. He tried to shove away the nasty thoughts that popped up in his mind. Pictures of a bloody Nathan right next to Evi’s dead body. The fear was creeping through his body and he increased his speed. With stumbling steps he arrived at the scene.

The first thing Duke noticed was that Nathan was moving, moving and talking, and leaning over Dwight - at least Duke thought that this had to be Dwight. He didn’t met him so far. The worried question if Nathan was okay kept stuck in Duke’s throat while watching Nathan. He was clearly alright. It seemed that Dwight got hit by every bullet that went through that door. Luckily he seemed to had worn a bullet proof vest - as if he knew that it might happen today. There was only a slight trace of blood on his neck. Although Duke kept his mouth shut, he shifted and it probably made a noise which was loud enough for Nathan to notice.

“Duke.” Nathan sounded cautious, an uncertainty in his voice and his eyes were twitching in panic to the door.

At once Duke felt the anger rise again. Even now he still thought that Duke would do something foolish and he only wanted to make sure that Nathan was okay. Why did he even bother? Nathan cleary gave a rats ass about him.

“Chill, Nate, I’m not running outside to get myself killed.”

“I didn’t say-” Nathan tried to start but Duke cut him off.

“You didn’t _need_ to.” They always had been good at hurting each other with words. Both knew exactly what to say if they wanted to strike a nerve. But they also were very good at hurting each other just with looks and actions. Nathan didn’t need to say anything to stab Duke right in the heart. It was clear that he didn’t trust him and for Duke this was unbearable, was Nathan the one person that Duke trusted the most. “Even if you try to convince yourself that you trust me it’s very clear to me that you don’t. So don’t even try.”

Duke shook his head, wondering how he could have ever been so foolish to believe that this relationship might actually work. They were Nathan and Duke. Trouble was inevitable. And it hurt. Every damn time.

“I _trust_ you, Duke.”

Duke chuckled, trying to hide the pain that was crushing his heart. “It’s even worse that you think you do, Nate.”

Nathan got up, eyes fixated on Duke, this god awful eyes that just had to look at Duke and he would crumble under their gaze. But not today, not now. Duke had enough of blind loyalty, of forgetting and forgiving. “You can’t just say things and do the exact opposite. You can’t just look at me like that and expect that I come back crawling.”

Nathan sighed, stepped a little closer and Duke didn’t care how lost he looked, how visible hurt he was. He was not the one who had the right to be hurt. “I’m sorry, Duke. I know that it was not the best idea to lock you up.”

“Really?” Duke flipped his hands into the air.

“You were not in your right mind,” he started the old litany. “And I _had_ to keep this place in one piece. I had no time to deal with you.”

Duke shook his head, looked down as he felt tears burn in his eyes. _Deal with him_. As if Duke was a liability, a burden that Nathan was carrying around.

“I’m sorry about Evi.” Nathan’s words were soft, full of sympathy, and still Duke felt the rush of anger taking control.

His hands found their way to Nathan’s collar,clinging into the fabric and he pulled Nathan closer to his face, close enough that Nathan probably could have felt Duke’s heated breaths if he would have been able to. “Don’t talk about _her_. You never liked Evi. You don’t care.”

Duke turned around to leave, to just get away from all this crap but Nathan grabbed his arm, a little too tight. Normally Duke had said something, signalize to Nathan that his grip was too strong but right now he couldn’t care less. It made it easier for Duke to stay mad at him, to feel not only the emotional pain that Nathan had caused him but physical one too. Rationally Duke knew that Nathan didn’t do it on purpose, that he probably hadn’t even noticed but Duke couldn’t think logically right now.

“You’re right. I wasn’t Evi’s biggest fan but I never wanted to see her dead, Duke. And maybe I didn’t like her but I know that she meant a lot to _you_.” Nathan even squeezed a little harder. “And I’m sorry what happened.”

Duke closed his eyes, blinked away the tears and took a deep breath. He had no doubt that Nathan meant those words but it didn’t change a thing. He had betrayed him, broken his trust. Sympathy and Sorry wouldn’t cut it. He grabbed Nathan’s wrist and opened his eyes again. With a cold look directed at Nathan he hissed, “Just leave me alone.”

At once Nathan let go of him, stepping away but tried anew. “Duke, please, listen-”

“I don’t want to listen, Nate,” Duke cut him off screaming. “I don’t want to see you. Just,” Duke took a deep breath, and the rage was fading from his body. He was only tired now. It had been too much. He’d come here to _help_ Nathan. He just wanted to help Nathan and from there everything had gone wrong. Evi was dead. Nathan had had no trust in him. Duke just wanted to be far far away from here. “Just leave me alone for a while,” Duke said resignated and he walked away. Nathan didn’t follow and Duke was more than relieved about that. He was sure that the next time Nathan would have tried to stop him Duke would have let his fist talk.

 

Duke stumbled through the halls of the police station, not sure where to go. He wanted to go away, needed to be out of here but he lingered around, found a place on a lonely chair and watched the scenery. He had no idea what had happened, how the infection had been fought but the people who were walking past him, looked healthy. Audrey seemed to have found the troubled person and talked them down. This was good. At least no one else was going to die.

An empty hole was forming inside Duke and he had no idea how much time had passed when a gurney was pushed past him. It took him out of his trance and he stopped the man with a movement of his arm. “Wait, please.”

He didn’t know the man who was pushing the gurney but he nodded, looked symphatetic as if he knew exactly who Duke was and in which relationship he stood to the person under the sheet. He nodded and left, allowing Duke some time alone with Evi.

On shaky legs Duke stood up and stumbled over. He clung to the gurney,digging his fingers into the white sheet, trying to prepare himself what he would find under it. But there was no preparing really so he just pulled the sheets away and looked into Evi’s face. Eyes closed and totally still. She looked like she would only be sleeping but Duke knew better. He saw enough death in his life to know.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Mr. Crocker. I truly am.”

This voice let a shiver ran over his back. It was probably the last voice - after Nathan’s - he wanted to hear right now. But then again it could be an opportunity. “She didn’t know anything about this town.” Duke looked over to the Reverend and couldn’t stop the slight accusation in his voice and face. After all Duke knew that this man was responsible for everything that had happened to Evi.

But as it seemed the Reverend just interpreted it as anger in general because he stepped closer. “She was one of the many innocent victims of the Troubles. I lost my wife to them too.”

Duke looked away again, let his gaze wander anywhere but here. He shook his head lightly before saying, “I don’t understand any of this.”

“I can help you, Mr. Crocker.” The Reverend came even closer and Duke faced him again. Defensively he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I can provide the answers but you’ve gonna proof to me that you’re worthy.”

Duke didn’t trust the Reverend at all. The way he approached Evi and keeping secrets it was clear that he acted only in his own interests. Evi was a pawn, just like Duke, maybe only a more important one. And Duke needed to know which role he had to play in the Reverend’s game. And there was only one way to find out. He had to play along.

“Reverend!” He stopped the man from leaving and before Duke turned to him again, he saw Nathan in the other room. He was talking to Audrey and Dwight and for a brief second Duke doubted that he actually did the right thing here. Maybe there was another way but Duke didn’t see it. And right now he needed to do this on his own, like his whole life. There was no one who could help him but the Reverend. He was the only one with answers. The only one who knew what was going on with Duke. So there was no other way.

He relaxed his arms, made it clear that he was genuine and on the side of the Reverend. “Thank you,” he said as sincere as possible.

“I’ll pray for her,” the Reverend promised and Duke nodded at him one last time before the Reverend disappeared out of the hall.

Duke turned to Evi once more and swallowed at this sight. “I will make sure that he pays for what he’s done. Promise.” After Duke would know exactly what was going on, what this whole mess was about, the Reverend had to pay the price. He couldn’t just walk around this town as if he owned it.

But first Duke needed to know why he was so important.    

 

*** * * * ***

 

“Just you and me became you, me and them.” Nathan had to admit that ‘just Audrey and him’ had sounded great. Right now Nathan didn’t know who he could trust anymore and Audrey was the only one he trusted with everything. But in this situation it was probably of advantage to have some backup. They had to find this kid. “Actually it might help having a couple more people assuming they don’t die.”

Audrey looked up at him and she had this look on her face that Nathan didn’t want to see right now. “Maybe,” she started cautiously but Nathan shook his head vehemently.

“No!” He made it clear what he was thinking about this idea. They could do this without Duke. He didn’t need to call him.

Audrey just huffed. “Did you speak to him at all in the last few days?”

Nathan shook his head. He hadn’t talked a word to Duke since the Lockdown, he hadn’t showed up at the Rouge or the Gull. He let him the space that he asked for. Duke had asked to be left alone for a while and Nathan just granted him this wish. Or he persuaded himself that this was the reason he stayed away from Duke because he didn’t want to think of the actual reason, like they having a huge fight, like they both made mistakes the last time they saw each other and Nathan was afraid what would happen the next time they met. He thought it would be best to have some days to cool off all the anger and disappointment.

Nathan had made a mistake, he was aware of that but he really had only wanted to protect Duke and in this moment Nathan wasn’t able to think of anything else. He knew how it would look like to Duke, falling into old patterns but that was not what Nathan had intended to do. He just needed Duke to be safe and if it meant locking him up for it, Nathan had no other choice. Duke would get over it, he just needed a few days, to think everything through, on his own. It wouldn’t bring anything to call him now and ask for help. That shouldn’t be the first words that Nathan would speak to him after days of silence.

“God, this is ridiculous,” Audrey commented and took out her phone. “I will just call him.”

Nathan knew that it would be pointless to try to stop her so he just grabbed his own phone to call Vince and Dave. They knew these woods pretty well and at least Nathan was sure that these two were on their side - even if he didn’t trust them fully. They always kept too many secrets. But they could help.

Nathan had already finished his phone call when Audrey was still speaking in her own. He really didn’t want to eavesdrop but he hadn’t heard from Duke in days. He didn’t know at all how he was doing with everything that had happened and Nathan was just concerned. So he took a step closer right in the moment when Audrey hung up. “He’s not coming,” she told him.

Nathan nodded, tried to hide the disappointment he was feeling behind a straight face. Duke had every right not to come, Nathan knew this but still it hurt. If he could have counted on one person alone Nathan would pick Duke because he knew he always came around for him. Maybe it was just too soon. Maybe he needed a few more days. “We don’t need him.” Nathan used the plural on purpose to let himself believe that it was not his fault alone that Duke didn’t answer Audrey’s call. But it still felt like it. Nathan doubted that Duke would have refused to help if it was just about Evi and everything was fine. He would have come definitely.

“Nathan, you’re okay?” Audrey used her soft voice and not that Nathan didn’t love this tone but right now he felt as if she felt sorry for him and he couldn’t have that at the moment. There were more important things right now he had to concentrate on.

“I called Vince and Dave. They know these woods pretty well. We don’t need Duke,” he repeated with a little more force to make clear to Audrey that this conversation was over now.

They had to find this kid anyway. With every minute he could be in more danger and they wanted to find him alive.

 

* * *

 

It shouldn’t be surprising that such a thing as a Wendigo actually existed and it wasn’t for Nathan. Duke pointing a rifle at him was though. In the first moment it was only the fact that Duke was _here_ , in these woods, although he had told Audrey that he wouldn’t help. The second after Nathan realized what Duke was doing. Nathan was so startled that he didn’t lower his weapon, which he pointed right back at Duke. It was a reflex. Self-preservation.

But the moment only lasted for a few seconds. As Nathan actually registered that it was Duke holding the gun in front of him he almost lowered his own weapon before he heard the Reverend’s voice.

“Lower your weapon, Nathan.” The voice made Nathan furious and the grip around his rifle tightened. “Easy son,” the Reverend warned him.

“I don’t know what the hell you are doing here, Reverend. You and your man better stay down.” At once Nathan turned around, pointing his gun right at Reverend Driscoll, Duke behind him almost forgotten. Nathan didn’t think that he was a threat, not to him. He was here to help and he hated the Reverend probably even more than Nathan did. “You first,” he said.

“Actually we are doing this all at the same time.” Audrey showed up out of nowhere and Nathan was really grateful for it. He could have done it with Duke as backup as well but three against the Rev’s men was probably better. Out of the corner of his eye he looked over to Audrey who stood left to him and got a look on Duke as well with that. He still had his rifle high in the air but not pointed at the Reverend but still on Nathan.

A wave of disappointment and confusion swept over him. He tried to stay calm, to concentrate on the Reverend and the problem that came with him but when Audrey counted down for everybody to lower their weapons Nathan turned around again. This time Nathan meant it as a threat because he was sure now that Duke did as well.

He was on the side of the Reverend? When did this happen? How did this happen? Why would Duke do something like that?

Nathan was ready to shout at Duke, to let out his frustration when Audrey’s voice echoed over them again. “Play nice, boys. I can take two of you before any of you have the chance to take a shot.”

And with that Duke gave up. He put his rifle down, held it harmlessly in his hand.

There were so many questions in Nathan’s head and he tried to put as many of them in the look he gave Duke before facing the Reverend again. Nathan still needed to fix this problem before he could deal with Duke.

“You all just comitted felony.”

“We are protecting one of our own, Nathan. You should understand that.” Like a reflex Nathan looked back at Duke and Audrey. He would do anything to protect these two, the Reverend was right but he wouldn’t endanger innocent people, he wouldn’t kill troubled people, not like the Reverend.

“What are you doing here?” Audrey asked. “What the hell are you doing with the Rev?”

Nathan heard the question that was so obviously pointed at Duke and he wished he could have that too. Time and energy to talk to Duke, to concentrate everything what he had on Duke but he couldn’t because their problems weren’t important enough for this. Right now it didn’t matter that Duke had betrayed him. Nathan hadn’t the luxury to felt attacked or disappointed. He couldn’t blame Duke, not right now.

Although he wanted nothing more. He wanted to shout at Duke, to ask him what the hell he was thinking, to team up with the Rev. This was probably the most stupid thing he could have done. And he wanted to tell Duke this. And he wanted to apologize because everything went wrong. Nothing was supposed to happen like this.

But there was still the Rev. And Nathan hadn’t the time to discuss this with Duke right now. There was still the Rev and Nathan was in charge. He needed to hold it together, himself and the whole town and so the priority was Reverend Driscoll right now - no matter his feelings. If he wanted to hold this town together - like his father did - he couldn’t have such a weakness. He couldn’t deal with Duke right now.

“Just some concerned citizens trying to protect our town,” Duke answered with a light mockery in his tone.

Protect this town? Nathan was almost ready to turn around and snap at Duke. Nathan was trying to protect this town - from the Rev. The Reverend was a parasite. He had to be stopped. Duke should know that, above everyone else. Duke should know better.

“We are trying to find that boy. And the killer who took him,” the Reverend explained.

And now Nathan was actually happy of him talking again. It was easier to focus at him, at the problem in front of him and not got distracted by Duke. So he stepped closer to the Reverend, further away from Duke. “The killer is dead. You have no idea what we are dealing with. And you’ve got no authority to be here.” At the last words Nathan got louder, put as much force in his tone as possible. He wanted to make clear who was in charge in this town. It was still Nathan and if it was to him it would stay that way.

“We know how to hunt down evil. And _we_ know what to do when we find it, unlike you.” The Reverend stared at him threateningly. “You ask the boy’s father if he wants us to leave.”

Nathan looked over to Mr. Camble and he really hoped that this man would give the right answer, that he had to see that these were bad people. If his son was really the wendigo then they would make sure that he wouldn’t leave these woods. So Nathan really hoped and got disappointed again.

“We need the numbers,” he only said.

Nathan sighed internally and looked a last time at the Reverend before he left. Nathan swore that he saw a smile on his face.

 

Nathan kept an eye on the Rev’s men until most of them were out of sight when Duke was walking right past him. The time was over. The threat from the Rev was at ease at the moment and the anger he felt crushed right down at him. He gripped Duke’s jacket and jolted him back.

“Are you insane?” Nathan snarled at Duke, stepping closer to him and pulling Duke to him at the same time.

“Insane is doing the same thing over and over again when it gets you nowhere,” Duke snapped right back but still calm and calculated in his tone.

Nathan froze for a moment, not sure if Duke was still talking about the Rev and everything that was going on at the moment or if he meant something completely different, something that Nathan didn’t even want to think about.

They were not insane. They were not doing this over and over again. And it certainly didn’t end in nowhere. Or it wasn’t supposed to be. Not this time.

Nathan shook his head, tried to force these thoughts out of his head. He must have misunderstood. Duke was still talking about the Rev and this was where Nathan should put his focus on.

“So you make a date with the Rev?” That didn’t make any sense. Duke _hated_ this guy - as much as Nathan did. Even as kids they were on common ground on this topic. Teaming up with him was not like Duke at all and it scared Nathan. It scared him what the reason might be for that.

Nathan stared in Duke’s eyes when he stayed silent. Duke didn’t avoid his gaze, looked right back at him, and there was an invitation for a fight, a little spark that lit up that Nathan knew almost too well. And he wished it wouldn’t have such an effect on him. His body reacted, tensed up and he was almost ready to take this chance to let out some of his anger and frustration, about the fact that Duke was not talking, that Duke was cooperating with the enemy. With _Nathan’s_ enemy.

But Nathan took a deep breath and stopped himself. Instead of pushing forward he chose retreat. He stepped away a little, giving Duke some space. “Is this just about Evi?” He tried to keep his voice steady but there was a light tremble in it.

Evi would be the logical choice. Duke was devastated about her death and he didn’t know how to deal with it. But Nathan feared there was more to it than that. The way Duke acted around him, every movement was a warning for him. The last time they had spoken Duke had been more than angry at Nathan. Turning to the Rev, Nathan’s biggest rival, would be the one thing that would piss off Nathan the most. And they were good at hurting each other. Very good.

And Nathan had to admit that it worked. He still wanted to punch Duke in the face for his stupidity.

“Evi is dead and for the first time I can see things clearly,” Duke snarled angrily. “Now stay out of my way.”

Duke turned around, ready to leave, and Nathan took a step forward, stretched his arm out and stopped. If he would hold back Duke now they would fight, Nathan was sure of it. And if he was honest he needed to think about this. He needed to put his head around it.

Right now he didn’t know anything at all. He didn’t know where Duke and he were standing. He didn’t know how it could get this bad. And he had no idea how to make it better again.

Nathan had no clue so he let Duke leave, followed every step Duke took with his own eyes, still worried, still angry, still helpless.

 

Audrey’s presence pushed him back into the here and now. “I think he’s finally lost it.”

Nathan, still staring at the spot where he had last seen Duke, turned around a little, forced himself to look at Audrey instead. “It’s one way to deal with loss, pretend it doesn’t matter.” Actually Nathan was convinced that Duke knew exactly what he was doing, not blinded by anything, and that made it even worse. Nathan had pushed Duke into the Rev’s arms.

“How you explain pointing a gun in your face?” Audrey seemed angry and Nathan could understand. He was too. He was angry at Duke that he didn’t listen, that he just reacted, and he was angry at himself for being too stubborn not to talk to Duke earlier. Maybe this all could have been prevented.

“Bluffing maybe.” Nathan shrugged and Audrey only huffed. It wasn’t the first time that Duke had pointed a gun at him and it would probably not been the last time. They had a history that couldn’t just be forgotten like that and they seemed to have the luck of repeating things. “Hopefully,” Nathan added because he wasn’t so sure anymore if Duke hadn’t pulled the trigger if the situation had gotten out of hand.

Duke’s loyalty had been foremost to himself and if serving the Rev now gave him an advantage he desperately wanted he would betray Nathan. Nathan was sure of that.

“Yeah, well, I don’t think that his friends were. I think we need to watch our backs, Nathan.”

Nathan nodded. This he couldn’t deny. “The Rev’s been talking a long time. I think he’s finally making his move. Somehow Duke is a part of it.” And Nathan _hated_ to admit this. Duke shouldn’t be in the middle of this. Duke shouldn’t be a problem that Nathan would have to deal with eventually.

Audrey put a hand on his upper arm and looked him deep into his eyes. The silent question if he was okay, Nathan answered with a little nod.

They just needed to get this case solved, then Nathan could deal with the Rev and then he had time for Duke.

 

* * *

 

It was getting dark and everyone decided to camp near the water outside the woods for the night. Nathan’s men and Rev’s men all the same. Out here they had to work together - to a degree at least. And so Nathan could at least keep an eye on Reverend Driscoll. But instead he was watching Duke reloading his gun, let him wonder when Duke actually took a shot today. Probably only checking the munition, Nathan told himself. They were facing a dangerous threat and they needed to be prepared. They needed to be focused.

And Nathan wasn’t. Wasn’t at all.

His gaze was fixed on Duke and there were so many questions flying through his head. And the one which screamed the loudest was if Nathan could save this, save _them_ , somehow.

He needed to know where they were standing, if there was a _them_ anymore, or if all was already lost.

Before Nathan could even think about it, his reflexes took over and with a few quick steps he was in Duke’s space. He grabbed him at his upper arm and shoved him a few steps away, out of earshot from everyone else.

“We need to talk,” Nathan explained his sudden attack, voice low but fierce.

Duke only looked at him grimly, freed himself out of Nathan’s grip and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “About what?”

“About _this_ ,” Nathan said and tried to stay calm, and forced himself not to get aggravated by Duke’s obvious defensive attitude. “About _us_.”

Duke raised his eyebrow. “I see, let me guess. You want me to put a leach on and follow your orders because _this_ ,” Duke pointed in the direction of the group, more specifically to the Rev, “is too dangerous and I can see no cell around here you can put me in. So the leach has to be enough, am i right?”

“No, no, of course not,” Nathan mumbled confused. Did Duke really think that? The situation last week had been totally different. They had been under an immediate threat and Duke had been out of his mind. He had just lost Evi and Nathan knew Duke. He knew how irrational he could be when it came to people he loved. Nathan just wanted him to be safe.

“I am done being your dog, Nate. I am done following your orders. I am done jumping to your side the moment you call.”

“Duke-”

“No, Nate. I saw how you treat me when I try to think for myself. You lock me up.”

“You were not _thinking_!” Anger swept into Nathan’s voice but he tried to control himself and stay rational. “It was a mistake, I admit that. You didn’t deserve this but ... but I saw how hurt you were, how devastated and I feared that you would do something stupid, Duke. I was afraid that you would just rush outside and get yourself killed. And I couldn’t let you do that.”

Duke huffed unimpressed. “Always the noble one, right?”

“Dammit, Duke.” Nathan hissed and the urge to punch his friend got bigger. Instead he just grabbed him at his collar. “I try to apologize here.”

“You’re making a pretty bad job at it,” Duke grunted.

“I - I-” Nathan had never been good with words. A lot of it came probably from the fact that the Chief never really talked with him, about anything at all, and Nathan learned to keep his mouth shut if he didn’t want to look weak or to be whiny. He never learned how to use his words properly, especially how to use words to make it right again, how to apologize, especially with Duke. Nathan had never been good at this and it was easier to just punch Duke in the face instead of saying that he was sorry. It would be easier now as well.

Nathan had enough anger bottled up inside of him to make it happen because Duke might be hurt and disappointed but the thing he was doing with the Rev was wrong either and Nathan had the right to be angry about it.

“Don’t hurt your head there, _Chief_.” Duke stepped closer and even if he wasn’t this much bigger than Nathan he hovered over him like a big mountain.

Duke wanted Nathan to punch him, this much was clear and Nathan was so close to actually doing it. He didn’t try to stay rational anymore, he couldn’t. The burning fury inside of him wanted to get out. Duke clearly tried to provoke him and it was working. So Nathan forgot everything about apologizing and did what he could do best, pointing out every mistake Duke did. “The Rev, really?”

Duke just shrugged. “There is no difference. If I follow you or him. All the same.”

Nathan’s fist hit Duke’s jaw before Nathan acutally realized what he was doing. “Don’t compare me to this man.”

The next punch was stopped by Duke’s hand. “But it’s so easy. You’re both trying to use me.”

“Then why are you with him?” The strenght in his arm faded and it was a loose limp in Duke’s hand now. Nathan didn’t deny Duke’s accusation and didn’t want to think about how his question could easily sound a lot different if he would just switch ‘him’ with ‘me’. Maybe he actually wanted to ask this, wanted to know if Duke was still with him at all, but he was too afraid, too scared what Duke’s answer would be.

“Because he has answers to everything and I need to know what is going on. Why I am so important, why Evi needed to die for it. I just _need_ to know.” This was the first honest and open answer from Duke. No provocation was in his voice, he only sounded tired and exhausted.

“Let me help.” It was a reflex, despite their broken bonds, Nathan just wanted to be there for Duke, to help him with everything that he had. Maybe this could be his way of apologizing.

“I need to do this alone, Nate. The Rev doesn’t like you. You need to stay away.”

Nathan had heard this too many times from Duke lately and it had hurt every single time, but it was different now. There was only a slight amount of rage in his voice. It was more a plea than an order. And if this was the thing Nathan could do at the moment to help Duke then he would swallow his pride and step away. So he nodded. “Okay,” he agreed although he still didn’t like it. If it would go out of hand Nathan would still interfere despite what he had promised Duke right now. But he would try, try to trust Duke that he knew what he was doing.

Duke nodded as well, patted him on his shoulder and moved to walk past him. Nathan stopped him by grabbing his wrist. “We’re okay?”

Duke looked him in the eyes, stayed quiet for a really long while before he whispered, “Shut up.”

There was something in his tone that wasn’t right. It was not the usual play between them. Nathan was sure that Duke only said that for Nathan’s sake, to make him feel better, so that he could concentrate on the situation at hand and wouldn’t be distracted by something as stupid as feelings. But Nathan knew better, knew _Duke_ better to be sure that they weren’t okay, that there was still a lot to discuss for later.

But Nathan knew as well that there was still a chance to save this, to repair the broken parts. There was still a chance to fix this. “Be careful,” he said before letting Duke go.

 

*** * * * ***

 

After everything that had happened today Duke thought it was a good idea to hide with a bottle of whiskey on his boat. He damn well deserved it. He had been so close, so close to finally get to know what was going on in this town, what his part was in all of this. Why and how he was connected to everything.

But it all went down to hell.

The Rev was dead. Evi was dead. And Nathan … Nathan wasn’t here.

Duke wasn’t even sure if he wanted Nathan around at the moment. They weren’t at best terms right now and Duke had a fight with Audrey. Nathan would side with his partner and then Duke had two against him. He didn’t need that.

His bottle of whiskey would be a better listener. Although Duke wouldn’t do much talking in the next time. He would just sit here, at his dining table, and drink quietly, trying to ignore how everything fell apart around him.

 

At his fifth glass there was a quiet knock on the door, followed by a loud screech when it was opened. Nathan always felt like he could come and go as he pleased. Duke mostly didn’t care, even when Nathan had come to arrest him in their worse times. Right now he wished Nathan would just stay away. He didn’t need another problem at his hand and even if Nathan meant well they were not good lately and it would only take a little thing to set both of them off.

Duke was on edge anyway, he was a little drunk and pissed at everything. Not a good mood to talk to Nathan, maybe even to settle some things that went wrong. Trouble was inevitable.

“Hey, Duke,” Nathan greeted him.

Duke only raised his glass and gave Nathan a tired smirk.

“I talked with Audrey.”

“You did?” There was more sarcasm in his voice than Duke intended it to be. He didn’t want to fight, he really didn’t but he knew himself. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to stay calm and rational if Nathan provoked him, even if it wasn’t intentional. And Duke really believed that Nathan didn’t come here to start a fight.

Nathan just ignored his tone and sat down next to him. “You wouldn’t have done it.”

Duke’s eyes got bigger, his heart started pounding against his chest, and he shook his head. His gaze fell onto the glass in his hands. Four glasses of whiskey and he was still thinking about this damn question: How far was he willing to go for this?

He had been so angry with Audrey, that she killed the Rev, that she took the one opportunity from Duke to find out what the hell was going on. And then she just asked him if he would have let this little girl die? If he would have stayed in his role of the loyal follower to get to his answers?

Since then Duke was pouring one drink after another down his throat, repeating this question over and over in his head. And he hadn’t come to an answer. He couldn’t say. And this was the worst.

He was not sure what he would have done.

He needed to know what was going on, why he was so important, and what his father had to do with all of this. He desperately needed to know. And the Rev was the only opportunity that Duke got, the only one who could help him.

The Rev or the girl?

“You wouldn’t just have watched this girl die, Duke,” Nathan started again.

“I’m not so sure about this,” Duke said truthfully. He was not sure about anything anymore. Everything was a whole mess and Duke didn’t know where he was or where he should be. “I _needed_ the Rev.”

“I know.” Nathan even sounded as if he meant it, as if he completely understood, and it surprised Duke. It was rare that Nathan was so honest and open, even with him, even after their relationship had changed to the better. “But you are _Duke_.” The kindness in his voice let Duke raise his head. “She was a child. You have never put your own well being before a child. And you wouldn’t have started with it today.”

Duke clutched his glass, forced his gaze back at it. He could feel Nathan staring at him and that was enough. He didn’t need to see it, didn’t need to see the faith sparkling in his eyes, didn’t need to see the love in it for something that wasn’t true. Duke lost track of what was important and Nathan still believed in him. That wasn’t right.

“What are you doing here?” Duke suddenly asked. He didn’t call Nathan to come. He didn’t need Nathan around. Drinking and forgetting he could do on his own.

“I came to make sure that you are okay. A lot of stuff happened.”

Duke only huffed. This was probably the understatement of the year. A lot of stuff? Everything went wrong. Nothing was the way it was supposed to be. Evi was gone. The Rev died before he could tell him anything. And Nathan might sit next to him now but Duke wasn’t sure if he would tomorrow or the day after that.

And Duke knew that it would be his own choice if that happened.

His trust for Nathan wasn’t gone, would never be actually, but trust wasn’t only one sided. Nathan needed to trust him too. Duke knew that he tried and that Nathan definitely believed that he did and maybe he actually trusted Duke in the way that was doable for Nathan. He trusted him in Nathan style. For Duke this would be enough, had been enough for the last weeks but it had scared him how easily they had fallen into old patterns, Nathan locking him up, not talking to him properly. Duke reacting with anger and hurt.

Duke didn’t want this kind of thing. When he got involved with Nathan a couple of weeks ago he swore himself that it would be better this time, that it wouldn’t end like all the times before - and here they were, broken and crippled, again. Maybe it was their fate. Maybe they couldn’t change that. They were still Nathan and Duke. Why should this change?

“Are you okay?”

Duke looked up, stared in Nathan’s eyes for a long time. The problem wasn’t that Nathan didn’t care.

He cared a lot. Sometimes he probably even cared too much and did very stupid things. Duke understood _why_ Nathan had locked him up. He just wanted to make sure that Duke was safe. Duke got it but it had been wrong. Duke would have never had done something like that. If their roles had been reversed, Duke would have taken Nathan to the side, _talked_ to him, bring him back to his senses. Not lock him up.

They were different and they both knew that. Maybe loving and caring wasn’t enough, maybe it would never be enough for them.

“Duke?”

Only now Duke realized that he had not answered to Nathan’s question. “No.” It was simple as that. Nothing was okay and certainly he was not. Since last week his whole world turned upside down and today he fell into a deep hole.

Right now he just wanted to wrap his arms around Nathan, to hold him close, to seek comfort in his touch but Duke was afraid that it could make everything a whole lot worse.  

“We’ll figure it out.” Nathan sounded determined, ready to actually try, but Duke just wondered what exactly he was talking about. There were two options, more than just one problem. Did he talk about Duke’s role in this town or did he talk about their relationship?

Duke just took the opportunity to lead the conversation in the direction that he wanted and right now he didn’t want to talk about _their_ problems, mostly because Duke didn’t think they could solve them. “Evi had to die for this secret. She was killed so she couldn’t tell me. Even if anyone is out there who knows I doubt they are willing to help.” Duke couldn’t prevent his voice trembling over Evi’s name. He was still so mad, at Evi to get involved with the Rev in the first place, at the Rev who gave the order to kill her and at himself because he couldn’t save her. And in the end he couldn’t even take revenge for her.

“The Rev is dead. There is a better chance that they are willing to help now,” Nathan threw in.

“What if the Rev was really the only one who knew?” Even if he wasn’t the only one who knew about Duke’s fate he was sure as hell the only one who knew why Evi had to die. And Duke had wanted to hear it from his own lips. He had wanted to comfront him after he got what he needed. He _wanted_ to take revenge.

Nathan just shook his head. “I doubt that. In this town they are a lot of people who know more than they tell.”

Duke knew exactly of whom Nathan talked about. “Vince and Dave?”

“For example. There are probably even more,” Nathan mentioned. “I am sure the Rev wasn’t the only one who knew. He was probably just the only one who wanted to use you for something. He wanted me out of the way. He planned something and you were in the middle of it.”

It was quiet for a little while. “No matter what he would have told me, Nate, I would have never harmed you, you know that, right?”

“Of course I know.”

“And pointing my gun at you earlier. I wouldn’t have done anything even if he ordered me to. I would never.” Nathan needed to know. Duke was still on his side, would always be, no matter what.

“See?” Nathan said and smiled a little. “And you wouldn’t have let this little girl die. It’s the same.”

“You really think so?” There was still this nagging voice in the back of his head that was telling him that he would have, that he was so desperate to get answers that he was willing to go farther than anytime before.

“Yes!” Nathan slid closer, reluctantly laid a hand on his cheek. “I have no doubts.”

The warmth of Nathan’s hand spread on Duke’s skin and his words did the rest. Duke leaned forward and laid his lips on Nathan’s. Duke didn’t care anymore if it was a good or bad idea, if it would ruin even more or not. Nathan being here and telling him that he believed in him was enough for Duke to actually stop thinking for a moment.

Duke’s hands wandered to Nathan’s hip and pulled him closer, desperately wanting to feel more of his boyfriend. And to forget everything else. Right now he wanted to drown in those feelings that exploded in him.

It was more than a week since they kissed and Duke hadn’t thought that he missed it this much. He had other problems so he ignored the need he felt. He buried it under his anger for Nathan and persuaded himself that he didn’t need him. Now that Nathan was so close Duke knew how stupid he had been. He _needed_ Nathan, more than Duke would ever admit.

He pressed himself even more in Nathan’s space which Nathan commented with a low moan. “Duke,” he whispered between kisses. “Duke, we-”

“Shut up,” Duke mumbled and began to be more demanding. He didn’t want to talk right now.

“Duke, wait.” And then he had a hand on his chest which pushed him gently away. “Just wait.”

Duke blinked several times, not quite sure what was happening right now. Wasn’t Nathan the one that asked yesterday if they were okay and now that they actually did stuff that they used to do, he was complaining? Unbelievably hurt Duke slid away which didn’t get unnoticed because Nathan was quick in assuring him, “I _want_ this, don’t get me wrong.”

Duke only huffed. Didn’t look like it.

“I just think we should talk first?” He posed the question in a tone if he wasn’t sure if it was such a good idea.

“You want to talk?” Duke couldn’t hide his suprise. Nathan had never been someone who talked about problems. He kept them quiet until they vanished somehow or were forgotten.

Nathan nodded. “I want it to be better this time, not like the times before. We fought, we made up or made out and then we just forgot or buried the problems. I don’t want this anymore. This just, this kiss, this was an old habit. Just forget and keep going. But it ended badly, every damn time, Duke, and this time I don’t want it to end this way. I want to be better.”

Duke didn’t know what to say. He stared at Nathan with an open mouth and because Duke knew that it looked probably totally stupid he grabbed his glass and drank up the drink. After that Duke still didn’t know how to respond to this. He was still looking at Nathan who now took the bottle and poured himself a drink in Duke’s glass which he emptied in one go.

“Okay,” Duke finally found his voice again. “Let’s talk then.”

 

Considering that they wanted to talk it was pretty quiet between them. They were still sitting next to each other, their arms were touching, and both had their own glass now in front of them. Duke needed alcohol for this conversation and as it seemed Nathan did too.

“So?” Duke asked. It was Nathan’s idea so it was only fair if he would start.

“I’m not sure how to begin,” Nathan admitted. “I don’t have much experience with such things.”

Duke grinned. “Well we didn’t have the best parents to teach us stuff like that. To actualy talk about feelings and needs and wishes.”

“The Chief took me out for dinner if he wanted to apologize. He never actually did apologize or the lobster was the aplogy, I don’t know.”

“So you want to take me out for eating lobster now?” Duke smiled amused and felt slightly better. The uncomfortable tension had faded a little and it didn’t feel so forced anymore.

Nathan shook his head. “No, of course not. I would make you waffles if I screwed up badly,” he said with a smile on his face.

“Good boy.” Duke had to hold himself back to ruffle Nathan’s hair and instead only bumped him a little. “But you didn’t screw up this badly,” Duke commented, more serious now. “We both made mistakes.”

“I put you in a cell and left you there?”

“True.” Duke nodded. “But you were probably right. I wasn’t thinking straight. The chance I would have done something incredible stupid was really high.”

Nathan shook his head. “Doesn’t make it okay.”

Duke needed to stop for a moment, he shifted and turned to the side so that he could actually look at Nathan right now. He was dead serious and Duke could still not believe. He couldn’t believe that they were sitting here together, actually talking, and that Nathan was mature enough to admit that he actually did make mistakes. This new side of Nathan was surprising but then again this was always what Duke had hoped for.

They were good together if they wanted to, they just had to talk about their differences and make it work. But they never really did before.

“What should you have done instead?” Duke wasn’t really sure why he was on Nathan’s side out of a sudden. Why he wanted to find excuses for Nathan’s actions, to prove that he didn’t have another choice.

“Anything other than that.”

Duke took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “You were tensed up. You had all those people you had to keep safe and I was a risk factor. I could have ruined everything.”

“Duke, please stop.” Suddenly he had Nathan’s hand on his own which was still clutching his glass. “I didn’t come here to find excuses. This is what we used to do. We looked over our mistakes and kept going. I don’t want this. Tell me what hurt you. Tell me what I did wrong so it will never happen again.”

Duke raised his head, watched Nathan with an incredulously look. What happened to Nathan that he actually sat here, next to him, and was so honest? Duke didn’t know what to think of that. And he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t throw everything at Nathan again, he couldn’t let his anger out because it still hurt this much. Because Nathan would go then and he would never return. And Duke needed him right now, he needed Nathan so he was okay with overlooking stuff. He could live with what Nathan had done. He did it before. It was no big deal.

He could live with Nathan being unrationable but he couldn’t live _without_ Nathan so Duke would just keep his mouth shut.  

“I felt utterly hurt when you accused me that I don’t trust you,” Nathan just started. “Because Audrey and you, you are the only people I completely trust in this town. There is no one else that I trust more. I would put my life in your hands anytime - without hesitating, without thinking. Even in the worst part of our relationship I still trusted you becaue I knew you would always come around for me.”

And Nathan was right. If he called Duke was there. It didn’t matter how fucked up they were at that specific time, Duke would always be there for Nathan. And so many times Duke thought this was only one sided but Nathan was here now, actually trying, and maybe Duke should use this chance and not push everything down again. “You just locked me up,” Duke said again. “Like you did before, so many times. When you were the cop and I the criminal. It felt like this again. It felt exactly like this. You just locked me up and didn’t even try to talk to me first. I understand that I was out of my mind and I think I would have understood if you actually tried to talk me down first and _then_ lock me up. But you didn’t even try, Nate.”

“I know.” Nathan sounded so guilty. “I should have tried.”

“And I shouldn’t have punched you. I just was angry and sad and I thought _you_ would understand and when you didn’t, I just- I’m sorry.”

“I did understand, Duke, more than you think. I saw you there with Evi and all I could think about was what I would have done if it were you instead and then you tried to rush outside to get yourself killed? I couldn’t let you go. And that’s why I locked you up. I didn’t think. I just had this image in my head of you lying bleeding on the floor and I couldn’t let this happen.”

“I get it.” Duke actually did. It was a damn stupid choice of Nathan but Duke could understand. He just wanted to protect him. Duke would probably have done something similar stupid if it had been the other way around. “When you met up with Dwight and I heard those gun shots I was terrified.”

It was quiet suddenly and both were sipping at their drinks. Duke didn’t know what to say else. They couldn’t change the things they did but they could try to make up for them and make sure that they didn’t repeat themselves. And he had the feeling that this conversation actually helped. He understood Nathan better now and he could accept that he did mistakes and forgive him instead of just watching past it. “This was good,” he said after a while.

“Yes,” Nathan agreed but he seemed reluctant.

“What is it?” Duke bowed down to be able to look into Nathan’s eyes which were staring at the table. “What, Nate?”

“One last thing?” he asked shyly but raised his head, responded the eye contact.

“Sure, tell me.”

Nathan didn’t speak immediately but Duke kept quiet, gave him the time that he needed. It seemed important for him and they both listened to the other, acknowledging their feelings and it seemed that there was still something that bothered Nathan. Duke could only imagine what it was. It didn’t seem easy for Nathan to say it out loud, to admit that there was maybe still a problem.

Duke got impatient but he tried to remain silent and not to push him.

Finally Nathan opened his mouth. “You and the Rev. I know why you did it, I know why you were with him, I really get it. But seeing you with him was ... hard. The Rev tried everything to get me out of the way. And when you stood next to him I couldn’t shake the thought that you agreed with him, especially after everything that had happened between us. I thought you wanted to get rid off me too and-”

“Hey, Nate, I stop you right there, okay? The thing with the Rev was never about you or about us.”

Nathan nodded. “I know but still, this feeling hurt.”

“Listen to me, Nate,” Duke began and cupped Nathan’s cheek with his hand. He wanted his full attention but Nathan startled, flinched away a little, brought space between them. His eyes were everywhere and nowhere, looking around frantically. “Hey, you’re okay?”

After several more seconds Nathan managed to look at Duke again. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Duke didn’t buy it though. He knew how Nathan was, always playing things down. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Nathan answered at once and carressed with his fingers over Duke’s wrist. He sighed audible. “Nothing at all.”

Duke furrowed his brows. “You’re sure? This was weird, even for you.”

Nathan smirked. “I just wasn’t looking and then you were so close. It just startled me, nothing more.”

“Okay.” Duke held his hand in front of Nathan’s face so that he could see before cupping his cheek again. “I’m sorry, didn’t want to startle you. I will try to be more attentive in the future.”

Nathan smiled. “You are, Duke. You don’t need to do more.”

But Duke wanted. Duke wanted to do everything for Nathan. And he wanted to do everything to Nathan as well. “Are we done talking?” he asked with a grin, his thoughts wandering to a whole new direction now. This conversation had been good but there was still a tension around them. It was not bad or anything, just uncomfortable. Duke was sure they could do something about that.

He leaned closer but waited for Nathan to close the gap between them. Nathan’s hot breath against his lips let a shiver ran down Duke’s back. “What were you gonna say before I backed away? You wanted to tell me something.”

“Something you probably already know,” Duke said and hoped this would be enough. When Nathan was so close it was hard to concentrate. He could feel the warmth radiating from his skin, he could hear him breathing and he could see every little anomaly in his eyes. He was _so_ close.

“Tell me,” Nathan went on and came a tiny little bit closer and still they were not touching. Duke lingered onto his lips and there was still space between them. Nathan was teasing him. “What is it?”

Nathan really wanted to kill him, sliding his hand over Duke’s back now. “I just wanted to tell you that I will always be on _your_ side, no matter what. Doesn’t matter how we will stand to each other. If we are friends, enemies or lovers. I will always be on your side.”

Duke could feel Nathan’s smile, he was this close and still a millimeter away. “Just kiss me already,” Duke muttered quietly, half moaning, full of anticipation.

And Nathan still waited, remained still.

“I hate you,” Duke said, already considering if he should do the first step and get what he wanted so badly.

“You don’t,” Nathan teased and gave him a short peck on his lips.

“I do, I really do,” Duke commented and pulled Nathan close. He wouldn’t let him go now. “Now shut up and kiss me.”


End file.
